Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Genesis 36:1-43 (The list of Esau)

Gads, another list chapter. Well, let's dive in.

Here is the account of Esau. You remember him, right?

He took three wives from the land of Canaan: Adah, daughter of a Hittite; Oholibamah, who was the granddaughter of a Hivite; and Basemath, who was Ishmael's daughter. Which makes her his aunt. Ew.

With Adah he had Eliphaz, and with Basemath he had Reuel. Oholibamah had Jeush, Jalam and Korah.

The author explains that Esau moved away from the land he and Jacob occupied because it would not support both of their families.

His son Eliphaz had five sons: Teman, Omar, Zepho, Gatam and Kenaz, as well as Amalek.

Reuel had sons named: Nahath, Zerah, Shammah and Mizzah.

All of Eliphaz's sons became chiefs, as well as Korah and Gatam.

All of Ruel's sons became chiefs.

All of Ohilibamah's sons became chiefs.

Then I cry uncle.

The author goes on to list the sons of Seir, the Horite, who lived in the same region as Esau after he moved away. Then the author decides we might as well know who Seir's grandsons are as well, and lists them for us. One of them, Anah, discovered some hotsprings. So. . . That's good, I guess.

The Horite chiefs are listed. Okay, good information.

Augh! Then we have to know the rulers of Edom?!? WHY?!?!? If an alien is reading the bible trying to follow it as the word of god, the first thing that must impress them is how METICULOUS god is!

The list of rulers reads like a 'shin bone connected to the knee bone' song. That gives me an idea.

At the start in the land of Edom
No Israelite king in sight,
Bela became the king and so
The people were saved from blight.

Then Bela died and Jobab reigned
and he liked hot goat stew.
Then Jobab died and Husham got
the scepter washed anew.

When Husham died, the people cried
for he threw happenin parties.
But Hadad stepped in everone soon
grew tired of his excessive farting.

Once Hadad died, Samlah stepped in
and ruled with iron breeeches.
When Samlah died, Shaul was king
until he bust his stitches.

When Shaul keeled over of
mysteriously, the people needed order.
So Baal-Hanan and his hyphened name
stepped in and got it sorted.

When Baal-Hanan
expired of flu, we come to the end of our tale.
Another Hadad sat down on the throne
and history follows his trail.

This is the story of Esau, his chiefs, and the Edomites. Now can we have a narrative?

1 comment:

Ishie said...

How have I not been seeing these posts until now? Frigging brilliant rhymes. I anxiously await the mp3 version.